Diary of a Teenage Ianto Jones
by Leanne1402
Summary: What happened in Ianto Jones' teenage years that made him the man he is today? His diary tells all.
1. 14th February 1995

**I'm taking a break from You Promised Jack for a while. I've been ill alot recently and I've been focusing on my early entry GCSE's and the storys just vanished from my head, sorry. I'll try and get back to writing some chapters soon. But for now, were going back to Ianto Jones' teenage years. What happened when he was younger that made him the man he is? Here it is. Enjoy :)**

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14th February 1995

I've never really thought about writing a diary. Always thought it was a girl's thing. But right now, I need to tell someone how I'm feeling, I can't really tell my parents, mum's dying and tad's never really shown much interest in me. I can't tell Rhiannon either. She just doesn't understand. Writing a diary seems to be the only way I can talk about it.

We were a happy family up until about a year ago. We always went out to the cinema or for picnic's in the summer. Rhi and I... Well we got spoiled rotten. For my 10th birthday, I got loads of expensive presents. I loved life. Tad seemed to favour Rhi over me but he was still always there.

It all changed about a year ago. Mum changed, she kept saying she just had a sickness bug or a cold, her excuses varied. She went to the hospital for an operation and she kept having to have medicine. Tad started to get mad at me for no reason. He would always shout at me and I just took it. When I fell over and hurt my arm, tad told me that there was nothing wrong with my arm, to stop being selfish because mum was in more pain than I was. I didn't make a fuss, I did all the chores with one hand, my other arm hurt so much I couldn't move my hand, my arm was swelling. When mum woke up from her afternoon nap and saw my arm, she rushed me straight to the hospital. I had broken it, tad was wrong. Mum had asked me why I hadn't told anyone I had fallen over onto my arm and I told her I did but tad told me to stop being selfish because she was in more pain. When we got home, my arm in a cast and sling, mum shouted at tad for not caring more about me. He shouted back that she was more important. She shouted that me and Rhi were just as important as her. He stormed out and went to the pub.

That was five months ago. While tad was out, mum sat us down and told us the truth. Why she was so ill. Cancer. She had cancer. She told us she was having chemotherapy for it. She told us she was doing everything she could to get rid of it. That was just after my 11th birthday.

Two months ago, mum had come back from the hospital with tad. She had sat us down once more, "remember what I told you three months ago?" she had asked receiving a nod from both myself and Rhiannon. "I don't really know how to tell you two this but there's nothing more that the doctors can do" both of us were shocked. I couldn't really form any words, no matter how much a tried. "How long have you got?" Rhi said quietly. "Four to six months" mum had replied pulling us both into a big hug. "I love you both so much" she had said, kissing both of our heads as we cried. Tad just watched, sadness in his eyes.

Mum is so ill at the moment. I know what's going to happen. I hope for her sake, it happens peacefully, and soon because she is in so much pain right now. I can't bear to see her in that much pain.

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Please God. I'm not asking for much. I asked before for you to save my mum. Maybe that was something you couldn't do. Mum's in pain. She told me she didn't want to leave us behind. I'm asking, no begging you to make sure my mum passes peacefully, to protect her when she has passed. To help her deal with the pain of leaving us behind. Tell her we'll be fine. Tad will look after us. I hope. Don't tell her the I hope bit. Please tell her that I will always love her and I will never forget her. Remind her of that every day. Please. Ianto.

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**There it is. It's sad I know. I actually cried writing it.  
Please rate and review. I want to know what you think of it.**

**Leanne x**


	2. 15th February 1995

**Here's the next diary entry. Enjoy :)**

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I've just stopped crying so I'm going to write this now before I start again. Mum died last night. She went to sleep and never woke up. I'm glad she died peacefully. I'm glad she's not in pain any more. I said this morning when tad called us in to their room. Tad shouted at me saying how could I be so selfish. Am I selfish for saying that? I didn't think I was. All I wanted was for her not to be in pain any more.

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Rhiannon's just come into my room. She told me that I wasn't being selfish when I said what I did. Tad was still getting over the shock of waking up with her dead next to him. I wasn't so sure but I agreed with her. We sat and talked about mum for a while and we held each other while we cried some more. I miss her already. I remember everything about her. I can still hear her laugh. I can still see her smile. I can still imagine her voice talking to me. Telling me she loves me, how she was so proud of me, telling me to always try my hardest at school.

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Tad just came into my room. He had been crying. I could see from his tear stained cheeks and his bloodshot eyes. I could also tell he had been drinking. At three in the afternoon, he was drunk. He stormed into my room and shouted at me, telling me it was all my fault mum died. That if I hadn't been so selfish and helped out more often and stopped thinking of myself, she wouldn't have died. I was never selfish, I always helped mum whenever she needed it. She always said I helped too much. Dad hardly helped at all. Mum had said the doctors couldn't do anything else to save her. Dad never really accepted that she was going to die. He took it all out on me and it still hasn't stopped. Will it ever?

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Dear God. Thank you for making sure mum died peacefully. I am grateful that she wasn't in any pain – she took tablets before she went to sleep to help with the pain. Please tell mum I love her. I will never forget her. Please look after her up there. Ianto

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**Aww poor Ianto :( Will his dad ever be nice to him? Rate and review. Tell me what you think :)  
Leanne x**


	3. 21st February 1995

**Here's the next diary entry. This is the day of Ianto's mum's funeral.**

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21st February 1995

It was mum's funeral today. It was nice. All her friends came. My aunts and uncles, my grandma and grandad, my gran and grandpa, my cousins. Tad spoke, Rhi and I worked together on something for Rhi to say. I don't think I would have been able to get up there and talk. It was too upsetting as it was.

We buried mum. I like what was put on her gravestone. It said

_In memory of Enid Jones. Born 26__th__ June 1955 – Died 14__th__ February 1995_

_A loving wife to Gareth and loving mother to Rhiannon and Ianto._

_Taken away from us too soon._

_Much loved and never forgotten._

When we got home tad turned on me. Having a go because I didn't speak at the service. He pushed me towards the kitchen and told me to get him a drink. He's downstairs drunk again. He's been drunk every night since mum died. I wish he'd stop. The way he treats me, I just can't take it any more. I'm going to run away. I'm sorry mum, I know you wouldn't have wanted this but I just cant take this anymore.

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Okay. I have this planned. I have lots of money saved up from birthdays. I'll go to Swansea. Tad wont think to look there. To be honest I don't think he will care. I'll leave a note for Rhi. I'll keep in touch with her. I have my phone. I'll make sure I have everything booked so I can just go. I'll pack my things. I'll turn up at the nearest care home. Yeah. That will work. I'll go book everything.

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**You know you wanna press the button and review dont you ;)**


	4. 22nd Febriary 1995

**Just a little filler. Thought I would delay Ianto's running away. Enjoy**

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22nd February 1995

Tad was on the internet all last night so I couldn't book anything. It was a good thing really because I woke up this morning and had to run to the loo to throw up. Am lying in bed now with a bowl beside me and lots of water and tissues. Tad's passed out on the sofa so he doesn't know about me being ill yet. Rhi heard me throwing up and told me to rest. She'll deal with Tad when he finally comes round.

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Tad woke up and shouted for me to come make him something to eat. As soon as I had walked out of my room, Rhiannon told me to go back inside. I heard her go into the living room. "Where's Ianto?" I heard tad ask. Still slightly drunk. "He's sick tad" Rhiannon had said "Sick!" I heard his shout "Don't give me that shit. I know he's faking it. IANTO! GET YOUR ARSE OUT HERE NOW!" he had shouted. I had pulled myself out of bed once more and walked into the room. "Tad. Can't you see he's sick? He's as white as a sheet." Rhiannon had said. Only earning a glare from tad before he looked at me. "Go make me something to eat" he said "and not just a simple sandwich. I want something decent". I went to the kitchen and searched the fridge. There wasn't much in. I decided to make him an omelette. It was going fine until I started cooking it. The smell of it made me feel sick and I had to quickly run to the toilet to be sick. Dad came in and told me I was useless and to get back to bed. He went off shouted for Rhiannon to finish his food.

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I feel so crap. I cant keep my food down. I'm just eating biscuits and water.

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Eating biscuits is getting really boring now. I feel so tired. I just wanna sleep.

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Slept for 5 hours. Rhiannon woke me up with a bowl of soup. I'm trying to drink it now. It just burns my throat.

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Still really tired. Gonna try and sleep again. I can feel my heart racing super fast.

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**Tell me what you think :)**


	5. 25th February 1995

**I don't actually know if you could text in 1995, it was the year I was born and mum's not being helpful. Enjoy anyway**

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25th February 1995

I'm free at last. I wrote my letter to Rhi last night explaining everything. I had everything I needed packed and ready to go last night. I woke up at 5 this morning. I got out as fast as I could. I quietly placed the note on Rhi's bedside table and left. I'm in Swansea now. In a children's home. Quite a nice place actually. They took me in fine. I told them my dad had dropped me here, gave them a note 'from my dad' (written by me obviously). I'm sitting in my new room. It's quite a large place. Loads of rooms. There are about 10 of us here. I've made a few friends already. A boy my age, Dai. Amy, she's 15, she's the oldest. I haven't really met any others yet. There haven't been any new people here for a while. I'm the first in a couple of months. Got a text from Rhi. _Glad you got out. Did you have a safe journey. Keep in touch yeah? I wanna know about your new life. Love you xxx_. I text back assuring her I had had a safe journey. I told her the address of the home so we could write. Have to go dinner.

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Dinner was nice. We had sausages and chips. Made a few new friends. Lucy who's 6, James who's 12, Cerys who's 8, Ellie and Josie who are twins, their 4. Matthew, he's 13. And there's Elliot, he's 10. I think I'm going to like it here. Jenny, one of the adults that look after us here said they would get me enrolled at the school near here. The one Amy, Dai, Matthew and James go to. I can't wait for life to properly begin here. Even if it is a care home, its better than feeling worthless and hated by Tad.

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I'm sorry mum. I couldn't live there any longer. I know its not even been 2 weeks since you died but he was just making me feel worse and worse by the day. It was this or suicide. I'm sorry. I let you down. I lied, saying it would all be okay here. I'm sorry.

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**Please review. I like knowing what you guys think.**


	6. Author's Note! So sorry!

Oh my goodness I am so sorry I haven't uploaded. I've had a lot of bad stuff going on the past year. Not going to go into it but I ended up completely forgetting about this. I only remembered when I told my mum I needed to start writing again for essay practise. I am so sorry but I will be writing like crazy in my lunch breaks at college. Please forgive me?

Love always

Leanne x


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